This is potentially an obvious one, although it also is clear that a life without love would be a life that had not been well lived. There is something about love that brings out the best in a person, motivates them to do better, pushes them to try harder, and in the end, makes them a deeper and more interesting person. As well, once a person has felt love, they know what it is that they must do for others, if they truly want to cherish someone.
With love comes loss, sometimes. It is a horrible feeling, but it is also an essential feeling, because it is a boundary that lets you know exactly what will happen if you do not do the things that you need to do to prevent loss. And, because there are so many things that we can attain in life, including love, and possessions, loss is almost inevitable at some point. But the winner sees loss as a challenge…a challenge to not only regain what was lost, but to gain even more. This works for everything other than romantic relationships…and loved ones. But even losing a loved one has a point…it really shows you how important that connection was, and makes you realize there may be other connections that would be painful if lost.
Anger is another essential emotion. It’s not fun, and can be very scary. And, when someone does not know how to manage their anger, it can get very traumatic very quickly. However, anger is a sign of a boundary. It is a sign of being overwhelmed with emotions, and it is important to know this and to understand what caused the feeling of being overwhelmed. And, someone who has never felt anger has probably pussy-footed their way through life, which means they really did not push any limits or take on very much stress or responsibility.
The feeling of betrayal is a tough one to stomach. It burns, and it burns, and it burns. It brings out the worst in us. But that is exactly the point. We kinda need to know what our worst is, so we can decide if we need to make any, um, adjustments to our response to betrayal. Because things can get pretty nasty! But, it is through the process of being betrayed that we learn the value of loyalty. And loyalty rocks!
The feeling of loyalty is actually sometimes pretty close to the feeling of Love. Ok, you can argue that point if you want. However, that warm fuzzy feeling and rush of adrenaline when we think of someone we want to be loyal to, because they really worked the relationship just right so that it just feels right…that is a great feeling. And, once you felt it, you can tell when someone else is not feeling it.
Spirituality is an essential emotion, in this writer’s opinion. Many books have been written, and many voices have been raised against organized religion, and against the concept of religion in general. So we’re dodging that bullet by not even going there…this is not about being in a church or about praying to a diety. This is about that feeling that you feel when you know there is something out there bigger than you, that has some sort of ability to influence your life, and to potentially bring you happiness or give you the gift of immortality. It is like a warm, nourishing salve being poured continuously on an open wound…it feels healing, and reassuring, and calm, and safe. And it brings out the best in you…your charity, your grace, your nourishing qualities, your calmest part of yourself. It is a beautiful and unique emotion.
Do you know that feeling? The feeling of community? It’s a grand feeling…it makes you want to reach out and hug your whole city, or town, or village, or hamlet, or whatever. It makes you want to fix things in the community, or help out in the community, or get to know other people in the community, etc. It is an evolved feeling that only means something really intense until after one has known the feeling of love, and loyalty, betrayal and loss.
Fear sucks. However, it is a very good warning light, so to speak. And we need warning lights to keep us more or less on the right path. And fear saves lives. So it’s essential. But too much fear, and you have a trauma disorder. So, it’s a dicey emotion. But essential.
Depression is another boundary, more or less. It lets us know that we really messed up our emotional system, and it no longer is able to give us what we want, in terms of feelings. Or, it represents a massive ‘crash and burn’ of the emotional system after something pulled the rug out from under us, so to speak, by leaving us, or by passing away, or by some other means. Depression is also one of the hardest emotions to get out of, because it is so complex. It is usually a combination of many emotions, such as fear, loss, betrayal, an other emotions, but it’s like a pretzel that can’t be untied…and it is very painful. However, it is also a crude (but cruel) guardrail, letting us know that something went wrong.
This is one I recently became aware of, as a very important feeling, because I realize I’ve probably frustrated a lot of people over the years by not being satisfied. As I told my daughter in a recent lecture following multiple requests for money or items in a very short period of time, “you have to be able to be satisfied!” This feeling lets you know that you have arrived. You have reached your goal. You have felt the feeling you wanted to feel. Every person should be able to be satisfied, so they know how to guide someone else to that feeling. You need to be able to satisfy, and to be satisfied.